PAST LIFE DIARY

  THE DAMN ELEVATOR! (Jeremy) I ' m now inside the elevator itself . It ' s working again after we fixed it. I ' m here with my two coworkers, James Cox and Trudy. We ' re going down. The n, the elevator stops. I ' m worried Trudy ' s going to start panic king again. He starts to scream. He has a really high-pitched voice. I ' d tell him to keep calm so he doesn ' t take in too much oxygen in this small space, but I ' m afraid that, if I mention that, it would cause him to panic even more. We try to call out, but no one ' s responding. They ' ve all gone home already at the end of the workday. The light goes out now too. I ' m careful about what I say because I don ' t want to trigger Trudy even more. I ' m angry. James tells me to calm down. I tell him to just let me be, and complain that it ' s hot. Not long after, the light goes back on and we somehow get the elevator doors to slide open a little, but it ...

THE STRIPPER (Maria) I ' m outside. I feel like there ' s a marble floor under my feet, but the ground around me is dusty. I ' m standing in an open place, being admired. B ut admiration leads to punishment. I ' m female, about twenty six years old. I have long, blond hair. It 's straight but curled at the ends. I have bangs too. I ' m very beautiful and tall. I ' m parading and I ' m good at it. I ' ve mastered touching my body in public while people watch. I ' m required to make eye contact with them. They watch, but are not allowed to touch me. My name is Maria. It's pronounced more like Mowria with the emphasis on the first syllable.  Q: Show me what led you to do this. I ' m seventeen years old. There ' s a guy who offered me this job which he thinks will bring him some good money. He ' s shorter than me. He has me stand and parade on a marble pedestal. I ' m chained to the pedestal with a cuff around my right a...

BACK IN THE ELEVATOR SHAFT (Jeremy) This is what happened before the scenes described in PAST LIEF DIARY 1 - Story 9 - The elevator. I ' m in the elevator shaft. It ' s really warm; the other guy is wiping the sweat off his forehead. Q: What's his name? Jeremy: James Cox. Q: What about the short guy? Jeremy: They call him Gertrude. We also call him Trudy. He ' s so scared, standing to the side, unable to be of much help. I ' m worried about him, but I tell him to pull himself together cause we need him to help with lifting this big block. He agrees. T he three of us try to lift the block that ' s lying in the middle of the shaft. I climb up the ladder and tell the guys above us that we ' re going to get out of the shaft for a break cause Trudy ' s having trouble. We get out and try to comfort him . "We ain ' t got all day!" another guy says. T he other work can ' t continue as long as the elevator is out of service. We ...

A STROLL IN THE GARDEN (Jeremy) I ' m outside in a garden. Q: How old are you? Jeremy: Seventeen. I ' m in the garden of that relative that had a garden with flowers. I ' m walking in the grass. I ' m wearing gray pants that are too long and too wide, so I have to hold them up, but it doesn ' t bother me. I ' m practicing slow strolling with the intention of taking a girl on a stroll, the proper way! Q: Are you alone? Jeremy: Yes. After taking a slow and solemn turn, I suddenly get snapped out of my imaginary stroll with a girl, by a man in the neighboring garden. He recognized me and starts asking me questions about my parents and how I ' m doing in school. I feel like I went from being a gentleman back to being just a teenager. A STROLL IN THE GARDEN (Jeremy) I'm seventeen. I ' m in the garden of that relative that had a garden with flowers. I ' m walking in the grass. I ' m wearing gray pants that are too long an...

YOUNG EILIE I ' m a newborn. I ' m in the room with my parents. The large bedroom is on the first flo or. My mother has long and curly, golden blond hair. My name is Elisabeth. I'm about nine years old now . I have a big brother. There is something wrong with him. He ' s blind. It happened because of an illness when he was 4-5 years old. W e ' re close in age, and I have a good bond with him. My father died at war. My mother seems worried. She ' s not the same mother that I had when I was born. This one has dark hair. I have curly, black hair myself. I have a younger sister and another baby sister. Between me and my younger sister there was another child that died. Q: What happened to your real mother? Eilie: I don ' t want to know. She's very resistant, apparently having blocked it from her conscious mind. We revisit the scene regardless. I ' m three years old. My mother is giving birth. There are some women assisting her, but thi...

YOUNG MATHILDE  I ' m about eleven years old. I ' m here in a room with many other children of different ages. They ' re younger than me. It ' s a kind of school, but instead of having adult teachers, the older children teach the younger ones. It ' s not academic education but rather skill s, how to do things. It ' s quite hectic in here .

THE ELEVATOR (Jeremy) I've seen this scene before, briefly, a few months ago. I didn't go further into it, but I assumed Jeremy's the only one, or at least the most likely one, to ever have been inside of an elevator shaft. I've now been shown three scenes that have to do with claustrophobia, even though it hadn't even come to my mind yet to address this issue. I ' m in an elevator shaft. There are two other guys with me. I ' m preoccupied with one of them, a short guy. He ' s Italian. The other guy is tall and slim and has chestnut- brown hair. I ' m wearing my work suit, a denim c overall. I ' m 41 years old. We need to fix this elevator cause otherwise we can ' t continue our work. Something got stuck and d y sregulated. We ' re at ground level. There are other guys above us. T h ere's a door with a hydraulic closer. W e can get out if needed, so on a logical level I ' m not scared, but I ' m angry and irritable. I ...

CLAUSTROPHOBIC (Marie & Daria) I'm Marie. I ' m in a tunnel. The walls are made of gray stones. The roof is arched and the ground is covered with soil. We have a light with us. I ' m scared. I want to get out of here. I think it ' s nighttime outside. Q: Where does this fear stem from? The life of Marie or another? - : The life of Daria. Q: What was the lesson for me (as Marie) experiencing this? - : Have patience and you will get out of this place. Q: Take me back to the life of Daria. I ' m standing tied to a pole in a cylinder-shaped shaft in the ground. The sun is shining over me. It ' s hot. Q: How old are you? Daria: Thirty six . Q: How do you feel? Daria: Desperate, abandoned.

SURNAME S (Jeremy & Louise ) I ' m outside in a park in the city. I ' m looking at a little child. I think it ' s a boy. He ' s wearing a sleeveless denim overall and a striped T-shirt with long sleeves. We ' re gathered here for some kind of special day; something to do with liberation. I ' m about forty two years old. I ' m here with four of my kids . The oldest one didn ' t wanna come. She stayed home with Cathy. Q: Who's Cathy? Jeremy: She ' s a n old neighbor; a friend of Louise. I feel sad. I ' m going to leave the kids here and go somewhere! Q: You will leave them here?? Jeremy: Yeah, they ' ll be fine with these people. D on ' t worry. I feel excited to have an opportunity to get out on my own. I ' m going with a friend to a record store. I ' m go nna buy some soul music! I like soul. It makes me feel calm. Q: When did your father die? Jeremy: It was a horrifying accident. I see a steamro...

YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GONNA DIE (Jeremy) Q: What exactly happened to Louise? Show me how she died. I ' m here in the room at the hospital . The medical staff is around her. I don ' t feel much emotion. I assume they are helping her successfully. I don't realize the severity of the situation until I hear the word "heartbeat". Q: What happened to her? Jeremy: Her womb ruptured. Q: Can you tell me more details about that? Jeremy: It doesn ' t matter. When you lose someone this way, the medical details really aren ' t what you ' re preoccupied with. Q: Show me when your neurological symptoms started. I ' m outside. I ' m still living in New York. Q: Where are you going? Jeremy: Over there, to the other side of the street. Q: What is over there? Jeremy: The bank. I ' m going to get some financial things in order cause I think I won ' t live much longer. Q: How old are you? Jeremy: Almost fort...

MEET THE FAMILY (Jeremy) I ' m walking on the pavement. I ' m in New York. It ' s not very crowded here . I ' m wearing a gray suit. He seems to be wearing a hat too, but I'm not sure. I ' m walking with confidence. I ' m calling a cab.   I come home. I feel that our life is really nice. The living room has off-white wallpaper with little flowers. Our oldest daughter is called Penny. Nellie is the second one, and Suzy ' s is the third. Molly is the little one. It appear s that Molly is the one that is also known as Claudette. Q: Take me to your childhood, and show me your siblings. I ' m five years old. I have a sister: Nellie. She seems to be the most significant one to him and closest in age. Q: What about your brother? Jeremy: Oh, that ' s Joshua. He ' s the little one. I ask about his older sister, and I see her, but it seems like he doesn't consider her as significant as his younger siblings. There also seems to b...

NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL (Daria)  I ' m by the sea. I ' m here with my friend, the one that calls me Little One. I say: 'The water is so nice, isn ' t it?' I go and sit next to him. 'I love you, Daria' he says. I reply : 'I love you, Haamedo.' I ' m so happy with him. He tells me that he wants to marry me. I tell him I want that too. I look to the right, get up and walk away a little, then say: 'But, I don ' t want to have sex.' I say it as if it ' s a part of marriage that one can opt out of. He comes after me. He calls me by my boy ' s name Madeedo. I tell him I just can ' t do it. He says: 'Why? Why can ' t you do that?' He then says he wants to help me overcome this. I ' m scared of it, so scared. B ut, I want to overcome it too. I want to commit to this relationship. We ' re holding hands now.

BEHIND BARS (Jan) I can ' t see. I feel rough walls to my right. I ' m in jail. I ' m barefoot. The ground is dirty. I can feel dirt and hay under my feet. It smells like urine. Q: How old are you? Jan: Eighteen . Q: Show me something else from your life. Jan: Don ' t think my life is any more interesting than yours! I ' m younger now, about fourteen years old. I ' m quite short and haven ' t reached puberty yet. I ' m outside. There ' s grass. I ' m happy and energetic. I ' m a short guy. It smells like horse manure. Don ' t think the air was much cleaner in those days! Q: Show me your brother. He ' s taller than me and has dark hair. There is some bad blood between us. Q: What's his name? Jan: Pieter Heyndrick . Q: Show me the moment when you were captured. I ' m in a town. I ' m trying to get away from them. A bout four men have circled around me. They catch me, and one of them stabs me...

THE DUEL (Jehan) Q: Tell me about the injury. Jehan: The duel was about a woman. Q: Who? Jehan: It was Elisabeth. Q: But she's your sister. What's the point? Jehan: I was trying to prevent her from marrying this man. I recognize the man, but I'm not sure who he is. It seems he's the guy from the incident at the place where they spent the night during the conflict between traders and farmers. Q: How old were you at the time of this duel? Jehan: About twenty five . Q: Did she end up marrying him? Jehan: She almost did!

A BEAM OF LIGHT I find myself in the spirit realm. There is purple light around me. From the right-side angle above me, there is another light, like a spotlight. It beams down towards the spot on my head where Jehan suffered an injury. The light makes a connection between the spot on my head and the right side of my Higher Self. I'm overcome with a feeling of enormous love from her. It's like the ultimate archetype of motherly nurturing. I feel loved and hugged. I'm told that I've completed my task.   Next, I'm show something from the life of Eilie.  I'm in the basement with my boyfriend Frederic. He's wearing a white shirt, a dark brown vest, a cap and beige breeche s. I'm laughing. We're having fun.  I recognize him from another lifetime, and realize that I've been brought back to him over and over. We shouldn't see life as one whole, but rather a s part of a bigger picture. Looking at one life is like tasting only one item from an...

I'm about 3-4 years old. I'm born into a wealthy family. I'm outside in the garden with my nanny. I'm riding a bike without pedals. I'm wearing a fancy dress. My nanny calls me Nathalie. We speak French.  Another scene: I'm outside in the huge garden. There are wide stone paths in between the vegetation. I'm about ten years old. I'm wearing a wig and a pale blue boys' suit. I'm quite smart. Q: Show me your family inside the home. Nathalie: I don't like to go inside. I don't like being with them. Q: Show me what is under your wig when you take it off. There's a net around my hair and then, when I take that off, there is straight, chestnut-brown hair. It's not that long. There's a greenhouse over there. I study plants and want to make a crossbreed of two different flowers. I stay in the small house where my nanny lives. She's my best friend. Q: I was told this was going to be a hard life. Show me what is so hard ab...