PAST LIFE DIARY 1 - Story 14 - The stripper (Maria)

THE STRIPPER (Maria)

I'm outside. I feel like there's a marble floor under my feet, but the ground around me is dusty. I'm standing in an open place, being admired. But admiration leads to punishment. I'm female, about twenty six years old. I have long, blond hair. It's straight but curled at the ends. I have bangs too. I'm very beautiful and tall. I'm parading and I'm good at it. I've mastered touching my body in public while people watch. I'm required to make eye contact with them. They watch, but are not allowed to touch me. My name is Maria. It's pronounced more like Mowria with the emphasis on the first syllable. 

Q: Show me what led you to do this.

I'm seventeen years old. There's a guy who offered me this job which he thinks will bring him some good money. He's shorter than me. He has me stand and parade on a marble pedestal. I'm chained to the pedestal with a cuff around my right ankle.

Q: Show me what kind of clothes people are wearing.

Maria: Never mind what they are wearing! I'm completely naked!

People are watching from a distance as if they're afraid to come too close. I feel like they look at me with a mixture of awe and pity. Judging from what I perceive, it seems she's quite short sighted, though she doesn't realize it.

Q: Show me what happens at the end of the day when work is done.

My boss comes and takes me to his tent. I'm wearing a green cloak with nothing underneath, not even shoes. I dread going home with him cause I'll have to have sex with him. He makes me some warm milk while I sit here and look at the fire in front of me.

Q: How did you end up with this guy?

Maria: I used to work at a brothel. He won me like a prize. 

Another scene:  

I'm thirteen years old, working at the brothel. I'm lying on my side, posing, waiting for someone to be my client. I'm wearing a red corset but nothing to cover my genitals. It's hard work.

Q: Take me to when you were little, and show me what led you to this.

I'm three years old, but I look older cause I'm tall for my age. I'm in a house with straw on the ground. There's a baby crying. There's also a horse or donkey. Things are not going well! A woman is lying with her stomach on the floor. She's struggling to breath. She's my grandmother, but she's quite young. I tell her to please get up cause the baby needs milk. I ask her again to please get up. I tell her she will be alright. She tells me to take my brother and run away.

I'm outside now, carrying my baby brother who looks about a year old. I speak German. 'Come and see these lonely children!' I shout. People are ignoring us. I say: 'Please don't let my brother die!' I break down, fall to the ground, and cry. Two people come to us from different sides, one of them a middle-aged woman wearing a long, black coat and hat.