PAST LIFE DIARY 2 - Story 409 - Pipe dream (Jeremy)

PIPE DREAM (Jeremy)

I see a pipe with a black stem, brown bowl, and a metallic ring in between. This is not the first time I see this particular pipe in a session. I see and feel it so clearly and detailed, like an object I'm very familiar with and have fond feelings for. I had a similarly detailed experience once concerning Jehan's sword, amazed at the intensity of emotion I - as Jehan - felt for such a sharp and lethal instrument. This time it was a pipe. It's not an object I've ever been familiar with in my current life, let alone have fond feelings for, considering my allergy to all types of smoking. I assumed it was Herman's pipe, till I found myself holding it with my left hand. Was this Jeremy? Or was Herman left-handed too?

It tastes so good, so comforting. I take a draw into my right cheek. The radio's on at a low volume. The music stops, and now someone's talking… about the weather. I look out through the slits of the closed shutters. It's sunny. I'm home for an extended period of time, 4-5 months. It's good, a chance to take care of business, pay the people that transport the eggs, go to the bank… I'm really enjoying this peaceful moment, home alone. I hear the chickens crooning outside. I fall asleep and dream about fixing a truck, standing by the open hood with another guy to my right, trying to figure out what is wrong. Despite knowing that he's just as knowledgeable as me, I feel like I'm lecturing him about it, repeating the same thing over and over about left and right, left and right, left and right. The dream fades away, and I hear the thump of the door as Louise enters the house. I find myself slouched in the armed chair, the pipe lying in the ash tray on the side table. I better get up and help her with those groceries. I ask her if she got the formula, not realizing that I'm using the wrong word for the baby crackers I'm referring to - we mash em up with hot milk. Louise is yapping away to the other lady who came in with her - a tall lady of about thirty five years old, I guess. I don't really know her. She's a neighbor. With Louise now in the kitchen, me still in the living room, and this other woman somewhere in between, I notice that she keeps following me with her eyes, smiling. It makes me feel rather uncomfortable. Is it cause I'm wearing my uniform? She then remarks something to Louise about filling my belly. Is that what she was looking at? Naughty girl… She must be single and free to look. She's apparently a good friend to Louise. She has been living around here since three months, with her father - a Mr. Stuart or Steward.

I'm by the kitchen table now. Nellie's looking up and wants an orange. I look inside the paper bag cause I was under the impression that they were peaches, not oranges. It's kind of dark in here with the shutters closed. "Honey, are those…" I start, trying to find out the identity of the fruit in the bag. "Just set them over there" Louise says, gesturing towards a spot on the table. "You want oranges?" I ask Nellie. "Yes! Oyanges!" she says, her little teeth showing as she smiles. Then, suddenly distracted, she tells her mom she needs to pee, meanwhile looking at me as if she's shy. Louise bends over to attend to her "girly pants" and ushers her out through the side door. Now, me and that other lady are alone in the kitchen, and it's awkward, but I start some small talk, asking her when her husband will be back in town. "Oh… Steve…" she says, somewhat absently, as if it reminded her of something she forgot. "Well… uh…" she says, luckily interrupted by Louise rushing back in. I realize the woman must be separated from the fella. Perhaps he hurt her. "Look at them oranges!" I say, holding my hands over the big, round fruits, now in a bowl on the table. Nellie's back, looking up at the oranges. "Daddy!" she whispers, then grabs my hand. "Yes, girl…" I say, waiting for what she's about to say. She pulls herself a little closer to me, and now I understand that her mama told her to "go to daddy" cause she (Louise) wants to pee-pee too. Penny's at school - not actual school, but lessons from a Mrs. Greenhill or something. Louise arranged it while I was gone. She wants the girl to have a good start in life. I only have two to three months of military service left after this break. Then, we're gonna have a party. And, hopefully, Charles will get married… to one of the many women he talks about but whom I've never met cause they're not real. He'll probably go work at the gas station.

Q: How's Jason these days?

Jeremy: With his aunt. She's keeping an eye on him, a close eye. It ain't safe for him when I'm not around. There's Josh, but… I don't trust him all that much. He travels around and lives a free life, thinking Jason ain't gonna go out on his own and get in trouble. Thing is… he already been in trouble, and I had to come and do the talking cause he can't stand up for himself, and just says nothing.