IN & OUT OF LIFE - Chapter 121 - Zee-Zee (Rokoto)

ZEE-ZEE (Rokoto) ~ 1631-1668

For an earlier introduction to the life of Rokoto, see: Past Life Diary 1 - Story 104.

I'm bare chested. I feel the heat of the sun on my upper arms. I'm just casually walking in the sand, looking around at nothing in particular, thinking about a metal bucket of water, about me carrying a bucket of water from the well where I got it. It's a nice social occasion when people gather at the well - refreshing too. I'm walking over to a white, rectangular house with decorative edges around the flat roof. I'm going over to meet a man I know. When I reach the house, a young boy opens the door. The man in question then comes to the door, meanwhile drying his arms and elbows with a towel. He has a mustache and is perhaps in his mid-thirties. I recognize him as U. 'What are you doing here?' he inquires. I shrug and half smile before coming up with an answer. I tell him I need his advice on something. I assume he'll let me in, but since he got the impression that it's a private matter, he promptly responds by coming out and closing the door behind him. 'What is it? Do you need money?' he says in a discreet voice. That wasn't what I came to talk to him about, but now that he mentions it… I guess it might be nice to have some money so that I can take care of a few matters now rather than later when I've accumulated enough. 'A little' I say, 'just for the wedding.' He laughs wholeheartedly. He says I know I don't have to worry about that, that weddings are a community thing in which everybody brings some food and that I don't need to complicate things. I've been playing a board game with him lately, and talking too, of course. I don't know what it is about him, but we get along well. He guides me a little further away from the door and asks what it really is that I wanted to talk to him about. I put down my head, waiting for the moment where I feel that I can say it. I express my concern about feeling unsure if my betrothed loves me or not. 'Loves you?' he says, a little taken aback, and grabs my lower arm. He seems to think that I suspect her of being involved with another man. "La-la" I say, wobbling my head and laughing. I continue: 'I mean… How did you know… that you're the one she wants?' He's referring to the man's wife. He pulls back his chin as if I just asked a stupid question, then says: 'Because she said so!' I look down and stay quiet, thinking. I then look up and sigh. 'I don't know!' I say, 'I feel unsure!… Is she…' - I don't want to utter the words 'does she love me?' but that is what's on my mind. He grabs my arm again. 'Do you want me to talk to her father?' he suggests. 'If you please' I say, 'I just want to know.' 'I understand' he says. He then says goodnight and goes back inside. It's around twilight now. I'd really like him to talk to her father cause I'd really like to be sure, but I'm also mentally preparing for the answer to be that she in fact would have preferred to marry someone from her own tribe. It's my mother who caused me to feel insecure, telling me all kinds of confusing things about what happened between so and so, people I don't even know. It made me cry at night. My fiancee's father seems like a really nice guy, but maybe he's being too nice, giving his daughter to whomever shows up first. Or maybe she told him she didn't want to marry me, that she didn't like me that much, that she was just being friendly… and then maybe he told her that she had to marry cause she's getting old. My mother said these people want to infiltrate our land and are doing so by creating alliances left and right. Should I not make an alliance with her? Should I to forget about her and let them move on? The man even said that, if I would be his son-in-law, he would stay here with his family and make this his home. I feel so confused. I just want to know if it's me she wants or if she just agreed to her father's demand. I feel heavy in my heart as I walk back home, not in a hurry to get there. Mother talks too much. That's the problem! I should be left to make my own decisions. Life is complicated enough as it is. How would I know what love feels like when I'm just a beginner?

Q: Show me how you died.

I'm thirty seven. I'm outside, grilling some meat. It's around sunset and there's a yellow-orange glow in the sky. The smoke hits my nostrils, and I wave it away with my hand, laughing and coughing. One of my friends, my brother-in-law, is sitting on something which functions as a chair, talking to me. He's wearing a long, white gown. We're talking and laughing. There are not many people here anymore. My mother moved away with my sister. She said she was going to move away as far as she could behind the mountain where she could be sure that Mecca would be out of her view - oh, she's so dramatic! But I'm relieved she's gone so that I can make my own decisions. My younger brother is still here. He's in his late teens.

Q: Did you marry your sister-in-law? And how is your son?

Rokoto: Please, my name is Abdul-Azeez. Or Zee-zee as they nickname me. My son has straight hair - a little wavy actually, but straight by his standards - and not a speck of dark skin on his body. But he looks like me; anybody can see that. I married my first wife's sister out of decency, and she didn't expect much of me. It was enough to form a family with her for the sake of society and our son. She raised him as his mother, and she's the only mother he knows. She told him that his "aunt" was in fact his real mother, but he dismissed it, saying she's the only mother he wants. That brought tears to my eyes. I knew then that I had done the right thing. We have two daughters and we've lost some young ones - some of them were miscarriages, and three of them died of other reasons. My father's health was declining a few months before the end of his life. I don't know what was wrong with him exactly. I think my mother's nagging just made him tired.

Q: Is your stepmother still around?

Abdul-Azeez: Well, yes she is! And all of her children.

Q: And your sister? Is she allowed to come back?

Abdul-Azeez: Oh, she doesn't live THAT far away! It's just around the mountain, but my mother thinks it's the other side of the world. It's in three days walking distance from here. My sister comes to visit about once a month, if not more. She comes by camel and only has to spend one night on the road.

Q: Show me what happens next.

The smoke gets into my airways again and it's a bit much for me. My nose is irritated. I put the cooking utensil down and tell my brother-in-law to finish the meat on the flip side. I stand at a distance, facing away from the grill, bent over from spasms in my abdomen, my hands on my knees, coughing. I turn my head to the side to tell him to be careful cause the smoke is very pungent when it gets into your nose. The cough gets worse. I wave my hand at him to try and tell him that I'll go drink some water. I feel a little better now as I walk away, singing to make me feel like it's alright. I open the flap of a tent and bend over to pick something from the several items on the floor. This is where we keep our utensils and such, like a shed. As I get up from having grabbed something long which we'll be needing - a skewer, maybe? - I notice something (or someone) in between the things on the floor. It's a little animal, about the size of a kitten. I bend over and reach out my hand. It's a round and furry little creature, and it's looking straight at me. 'Where did you come from?' I ask. It bites me on the back of my hand, like two little piercing teeth. It's not too bad, and I understand he or she must feel threatened. I rush out of the tent to tell the my brother-in-law about it. He gave up on the whole barbecue, the smoke having gotten so out of control that he decided to put out the hot coals by covering them with sand. 'We're going to have to eat this meat quickly' he says, and asks if the "sisters" inside have the bread ready yet. As I casually walk up to him, I call him by his name and tell him to look at this (my hand), then hold out my hand for him to see the bite marks. It's not that clear, though, cause it's getting dark. 'Was that not there before?' he says. 'No, of course not!' I say, 'Can't you see? It's punctured!' 'Yes, yes' he says, examining it closer. 'Come inside then' he says, apparently thinking I hurt myself on something. The area around the bite begins to pull now. I have a bad feeling about this. As we're about to enter the house, I stop and say: 'No, I can't go inside. I think I'm going to die.' He looks at me, his face changed and says: 'What's the matter? Do you feel like you need to lie down?' 'I don't know' I slowly reply, shocked at what I uttered just a moment earlier. Why on earth would I say that I think I'll die? What or who made me say such a thing? I laugh somewhat awkwardly as I realize I've probably been overreacting to the whole situation with the smoke and getting startled by a little creature who bit me in the hand. 'There's a little animal in the storage basket' I say. 'Oh really? What kind of animal?' he asks. 'With stripes on its head' I say, remembering a vertical pattern of black stripes. 'I'll go look' he says, already taking the first steps towards the tent. Wincing from the pain, I say: 'No, no, please don't. Not yet.' He stops and turns back. 'Why, whatever is the matter with you?' he says, 'Are you in much pain?' 'I think so' I say, now feeling my lower arm getting rather tight and heavy. 'I need to lie down' I say. We go inside and it's nice and warm here. The two women put some food items on the spread out carpet. We were supposed to have a good time and start eating, so they find it strange that I all of a sudden need to recline somewhere. One woman quickly props up some pillows against the wall. My wife is worried, rubbing her arms, asking what happened to me. 'He felt unwell' her brother says and tries to explain it away by having stood over the heat of the grill. I lie myself down, facing partially sideways with my knees in the bedding, coughing. I feel chilly and sleepy. Flu-like symptoms have come on in a matter of moments. I now start to shudder and then convulse. My wife rushes to me in a panic and calls my name, trying to keep me awake. She has seen this before.

Q: Have you had this before?

Abdul-Azeez: About five times since I married her, yes.

I feel myself shaking vigorously, now lying on my back, luckily in a soft place. 'Get him some water' she says, sitting on her knees next to me. Some water arrives and she tries to give it to me, but I seem to have been misplaced cause I'm here looking at her and myself, my face quite sallow. Suddenly, I think I have nothing left to do here. In fact, I'm sure there's somewhere I need to go. My mother… I must go and warn my mother. My brother-in-law detects that I'm no longer responding. My wife cries out a single cry. They will miss him, I think to myself.

After some time, I go and visit the hole in the ground where my body is to be buried tomorrow morning. I check the size to see if it will be long enough. I think it seems that they deem me a little shorter, but I know that I usually need a longer bed than most people. That will probably need a little more space, I think matter-of-factly about the pit. I stay for a few days to monitor my son. His uncle told him that I went on a long trip, the type that can last for years. He seems accepting of that. My oldest daughter, about nine years old, demands to know where I am. The younger one, about 6-7 years old… I wish I knew what her reaction is, but I'm losing connection. I see the scene, but there is a barrier. My guide has come to escort me back to my maker. It seems very close by, like all I have to do is turn around and I find myself with him in another place, the earthly realm evaporating as it were. "Allahu akbar" I say. 'You remembered' he says. I say: 'Yes, I could never forget you. Did I do well?' 'You did excellent' he says, aware that he doesn't need to remind me of the situations in which I didn't do well as I'm well aware of it myself. He says: 'I'm sorry I brought you back early, but we need you elsewhere. Will you be okay?' 'My master' I say, 'Do you not reward me?' He laughs and says: 'You reward yourself. You were a good boy. Now, what do you want?' I say: 'Your eternal pleasure/approval so that I can feel safe and close to you.' 'So be it!' he says, 'Now go back and live another life.' 

It's a bit unclear what exactly his cause of death was, perhaps a combination of several factors. I wondered what animal bit him and if it was even possible for its bite to cause such a rapid decline. I got the impression that it was a rodent, so I started my search by looking for a "striped rodent". I soon found two candidates that fit the description. Interestingly, both are native to Africa. I know from a previous session that he lived in West-Africa. Given the sandy environment and the pale-skinned nomads who lived in the same area, my guess is that it was in the northern half of the continent. Let's introduce our candidates.

- Rhabdomys is a largely Southern African genus of muroid rodents slightly larger than house mice. They are known variously as striped or four-striped mice or rats.

- Rhabdomys Pumilio a.k.a. Four-Striped Grass Mouse or Four-Striped Grass Rat, is a species of rodent. Its natural habitats are savannas, shrublands, Mediterranean-type shrubby vegetation, hot deserts, arable land, rural gardens, and urban areas.

- Lemniscomys, sometimes known as Striped Grass Mice or Zebra Mice, is a genus of murine rodents from Africa. Most species are from Sub-Saharan Africa. Lemniscomys Barbarus is the only one found north of the Sahara.

- The Barbary Striped Grass Mouse (Lemniscomys Barbarus) is a small rodent species which is native to coastal Morocco, Algeria and Tunisia. In the past it was believed to also occur throughout a large part of Sub-Saharan Africa, but these populations are now treated as a separate species.

Now, as to whether its bite (or the bite of any rodent for that matter) could cause a life threatening illness… I've found a number of diseases (some of them severe) that can be spread by rodents by various methods of transmission, however… all of them had an incubation period of no less than two days. Approaching the matter from the symptoms, I thought perhaps it may have been a severe allergic reaction. I've myself endured many cat scratches - scratches, not bites - and they usually cause itching unless I immediately put vinegar on it. One time after getting scratched, though, I took a nap only to wake up with a painfully swollen arm. This particular incident did require medical treatment. But anyway… After going down a rabbit hole of medical information about several conditions which may or may not have contributed to his death (allergic reactions, bloodstream infections, septic shock… ) I realized that there's no way to be sure. However, considering the sudden onset of flu-like symptoms… I wonder if it could have been a bout of malaria.

- Malaria causes symptoms that typically include fever, tiredness, vomiting, and headaches. In severe cases, it can cause jaundice, seizures, come, or death.